Straight answers on POA, banks, Medicaid, memory care cost, getting paid to care, and what to gather before capacity slips — written by a caregiver who lived it. Not legal, medical, or financial advice. Ask your own question if you don't see it yet.
Ask Your Own QuestionStraight answers from lived caregiving — not legal, medical, or financial advice. Rules vary by state.
No. Dementia Stops With Me is educational and organizational — lived-caregiver notes, checklists, and sequenced tools. It does not replace an attorney, clinician, or advisor. Rules vary by state; verify anything consequential with a licensed professional.
Capacity is assessed at the moment of signing, not at diagnosis — some people still have lucid windows and can validly sign with the right process. If capacity is truly gone, the path usually shifts to guardianship/conservatorship (slower and costlier). Start by mapping accounts and papers, then talk to an elder-law attorney in your parent's state. Free checklist: https://dementiastopswithme.com/guide — deeper sequence: First-Fire Kit ($9) and Full Guide ($27).
Sometimes — for good-faith concerns about validity or exploitation — but a branch "no" is not a court ruling. Ask for the reason in writing, escalate to the bank's document-review team, and ask what form or certification they need. Full article: https://dementiastopswithme.com/blog-bank-wont-accept-power-of-attorney
Medicaid can review past transfers (often a multi-year window) before approving long-term care benefits; improper gifts can create a penalty period. Exact rules depend on state. Plain-language overview: https://dementiastopswithme.com/blog-medicaid-look-back-period-explained.html — not a substitute for an elder-law attorney.
It varies widely by market and care level; families often see five-figure monthly private-pay rates that rise over time. Ask facilities what is included vs extra, and whether Medicaid is ever an option. See: https://dementiastopswithme.com/qa-memory-care-cost-per-month.html and tour questions: https://dementiastopswithme.com/blog/memory-care-tour-questions.html
Sometimes — depending on your POA/document language, state law, and whether you are a POA agent or a Medicaid/self-directed program caregiver. Do not assume you can pay yourself without checking the document and local rules. Free get-paid overview: https://dementiastopswithme.com/get-paid-guide.html
Start with IDs, insurance cards, POA/will/trust, bank and investment statements, deed/lease, medication list, and advance directive. Free 7-documents checklist: https://dementiastopswithme.com/guide
Free checklist = the 7 documents to find first (/guide). First-Fire Kit ($9) = three first-week tools (POA gather, after diagnosis, memory care tour) on Gumroad. Full Guide ($27) = the full sequenced binder + bonuses. Ladder: free → $9 → $27. First-Fire: https://ipresence.gumroad.com/l/first-fire-kit — Full Guide: https://ipresence.gumroad.com/l/dementiaprotection
Three first-week tools (POA gather, after diagnosis, memory care tour). Full Guide — $27 is the full sequenced binder when you are ready.